Well there are many shades of gray

April 3, 2007

I like the passion of my last post but I’m not sure if that is an altogether honest assessment of my situation.  It is a picture for that moment.  And this is a new moment and I have new feelings and thoughts regarding the life situation.  For one thing I have not completely gone the fear route and given up the dream.  The dream being to write as a way of life.  Realistically there are many ways to go about that and having another job does not mean that I am giving up the dream of writing.  More like I’m working so that I can support myself and sometimes I write because of this deep necessity to do so.

Where I get hung up is the quotes. “Quotes?”, you might ask.  Well it goes like this: I love to read and in the process of reading I’ve come across inspiring writers who invariably talk about their craft.  I’m mystified.  I take their words and try to translate them into my life.  And of course there is much lost in the translation:

1. These words may be inspiring but may look entirely different when the thing behind the inspiration manifests in your own life.

2. These words have more to do with the writer than the reader (not entirely sure about this one but I’m sticking with it for now)

3.Words although beautiful can be quite clunky: these symbols that point to something are quite difficult to grasp. 

So I read these wonderful sublime writers and I continue to read their loveliness and so on through the night until it is time to go to bed and I conveniently haven’t left enough time for my own writerly ruminations.  I’ve gotten way too used to being the intake valve instead of giving myself over to the creative outflow.  I can see that it requires a reorienting of the mind and in a sense this life. 

Perhaps that is why these words are here and this is a part of that shift in energy.

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