Words are needed here

August 22, 2007

I believe that I suffer a bit from perfectionism.  If I cannot do something exactly right, or imagine myself not being able to do something than I shut down and lessen my exposure to the medium.  Let’s take this writing for example.  When I finally sit down and pull the words out– for the most part I am pleased with the work.  But imagining this process removes me from the writing and I go for days, weeks even without putting down my thoughts here in words.  This would of course not be a problem except that I would like to write more and read things that I have written.  I certainly see the cyclical nature of my movement–away and to the beguiling medium of words.

I know I am not alone in this movement.  Countless bloggers have written that post about meaning to write more but not being able to be cause of (fill in the blank).  And perhaps that external influence does inhibit the words from flowing though I believe that more often there is a push/pull that can leave one wanting to write and not stopping to act.  For me perfectionism is certainly involved: why not read the words of a master rather than stumble through my own jumbled prose?  Yet I keep returning to this blog or my journal because the intake of the words (however inspiring or well-written) eventually leaves me wanting.  I need to express, I want to find my own way through a story or an experience.  As much as I love the twists and turns, the elucidation and genius of others I pine for the creative pulse to balance my dreamer self.  Perhaps you do as well?

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7 Responses to “Words are needed here”

  1. Cliff Burns Says:

    A blog is like a documentary of your existence, no? Write about your own very unique and unprecedented perspective on the world. No one else has the exact same tangle of neurons and synapses, your thoughts are entirely your own…

  2. Matthew Says:

    Well put Cliff. I believe that part of my problem is the self-focus involved and my unwillingness to focus the lens for too long in my direction…mainly because I wonder if the reader is not extremely bored by my wandering ways. Either way I appreciate the visit!

  3. awareness Says:

    Hi Matthew……yes, I find this happens from time to time and it’s actually happening with the writing process for me right now. I don’t have any answers except that I try to see my blog as an archival place for ideas and that all pieces can be returned to. The key is to keep writing. The editing can come later.

    Also……it always surprises me that others find what Im writing interesting or applicable to their lives.

  4. Matthew Says:

    Thanks Awareness. I like the idea of the blog as archive–sometimes I feel that a piece needs to be a bit more finished than it actually does. Right, write!

    Yes and I forget that applicability is many times universal, that this is such a great platform to connect with others!

  5. Frenzel Blatt Says:

    I know a bunch of people who suffer perfectionism.Those are most often with pleasent behavior,trying to be good to the other people and have many how-to-make-this-world-better toughts.Even more than that,when you see them you begin to wonder how calm an not-cruel they are,you wonder at the way they avoid attacking anyone else even when they are harmed.(That is,my gentlemen,what they call vita contemplativa.) But everything is not what it seems to be from outside.Inside themselves,these persons are rough fighters.They fight all the world.Perfectionism is their way to do everything better than anyone else.It is nothing more than less obvious way of fighting.Certain agressive impulses can be met at any person and we may say it is a normal part of organic-psychological structure.However,it can never be good to keep them repressed,and there is nothing to be ashamed about when we see and recognise them in our own personality.Only one more proof that our “psyche” functions correct and healthy way.

    I would be very glad to here other people’s opinions of this topic.

  6. Frenzel Blatt Says:

    Well-after all,you know what they say…When someone smart says something,there is no need for anyone else to talk of it anymore…so obviously,I am the smart guy here…

    AAAAAARGH!

  7. Frenzel Blatt Says:

    Ćao,ćao,ćao,
    ćao miko mijo,
    dječje igre strijencio
    ćao miko mijo.
    Hej!


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