To the person who threw my lunch away

August 31, 2007

Rather than leave a note on the staff refrigerator and continue the spread of ill-will I am posting my letter here for cathartic release.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I would like to personally thank you for the disposal of my lunch this morning/afternoon.  How could you know that after working all morning and early afternoon I would want to fast until dinnertime?  You mindreader, you.  I realize that I did not properly label my containers and yes I do remember seeing the sign on the fridge that warned me that this day was coming.  What I was not prepared for however was a movement so swift and ruthless that even now I am bewildered and flabbergasted.  I picture you eyeing my grocery bag full of tupperware containers humming a malevolent tune, placing the bag upon the counter and regarding your destructive intent.  You open the first container and find a left-over piece of pizza from my dinner last night.  Admittedly cold pizza defies time and you flung it away with wild abandon.  Next you opened up my dinner from a few nights ago, quinoa with tofu and vegetables.  Now I thought that it was probably still good but thankfully you saved me from a potential stomach ache or worse.  Really, thanks.  You saw the dressing I made for my salad and I know that Gladware is a bit flimsy and you, thinking the plastic may leech into my food promptly disposed of the whole container. Thanks again.  Next you encountered my main course and truly I’m a bit perplexed by your motivations with regards to this meal.  When you opened the lid you saw the tomatoes and cucumber I picked from my garden yesterday and the organic lettuce I washed and broke apart this morning.  How could you have known that someone might want to eat this food?  Perhaps you have not had a salad ever and thought that this food was not fit for human consumption.  Maybe the vibrant colors of the tomatoes blinded your eyes and in a fit of confusion the contents were dislodged into the trashcan.

Whatever the case may be in these few moments that you cleaned out my food containers you acted in a very special manner.  You disregarded whatever common sense may have flooded your being and with machine-like precision wasted a perfectly good meal.  I’m sure that you are not always this heartless.  If you ever approached me and asked for forgiveness I would surely grant it.  Next time though, if you are going to go to all of this trouble, could you please wash out the containers.

Many thanks,



10 Responses to “To the person who threw my lunch away”

  1. T Says:

    Lovely! This was wonderful and I think you should post it on the office frig. Reader beware… in my humble opinion this was perfection and needs to be spread throughout the office community!

  2. Matthew Says:

    Thanks T, I’ve shared it with one co-worker and may share it with others, but I don’t think I’ll put it on the fridge. Too many folks I don’t know, too much ill-will spread generously around the office. But writing this post certainly relieved some of my frustration.

  3. Robert Taff Says:

    I love how you express yourself in this post. It’s funny, because I think we all have been witness, maybe over and over again, of how rules and regulations can rob even the best of people of their common sense and care for each other. It’s funny what we will do when we feel justified in doing it, when a rule or law ‘has our back’. Sorry about the lunch, but I know you can handle a fast here or there as well. Take care.

  4. Matthew Says:

    Hey Rob, thanks for stopping by. You hit on what confounded me the most: the (assumed) recognition of fresh food and yet rules must be followed and out it goes!

  5. patois Says:

    Are you sure someone just didn’t eat your food, under the guise of cleaning the refrigerator? Sounds like you had some mighty fine foods in there!

  6. Johnny Says:

    I suspect that this was all a day dream. You imagined what you might say to someone who would throw away your lunch. Once you realized that this story was gold, you convinced yourself that it actually happened. Don’t get me wrong, I really like your post, but if I find out one day that you did, in fact, eat all that delicious food, and, AND, got all this praise and sympathy from this rather eloquent post, well, I guess, hmmm, nevermind. I love it!

  7. Matthew Says:

    Thanks Johnny! And your comment is just as well spoken. Alas the food could not be recovered and luckily my frustration did not harden to a knot of anger. I usually have nothing to rant about but this time the blog worked perfectly as a venting mechanism. If I saw the person today I might even give them a hug! (But no kisses)

  8. Chris Says:

    Hello. Good to vent. Good to forgive. Good to read the words of Matt. I have a small beer buzz, but no wit or insight.

  9. Matthew Says:

    Chris your presence is more than enough. I clicked on the link and listened to a few of the tunes. Nice and of course a little disturbing. I wonder…the style reminds me of a band I once heard that was on the verge of super-stardom…if I’m not mistaken their name was Flaco? Ever jammed out with them?

    Enjoy your buzz!

  10. InotInode Says:

    Emm.. There are very few things like my potential move I have a nice fresh joke for you people) Where do young dogs sleep when they camp out? In pup tents.

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