Italy updated

December 21, 2007

This is an approximation of the email I sent to Florence today. A follow-up to this earlier post.

Dear Ms. ____,

I did not want to have to write this letter to you. When I told you two weeks ago that I was still interested in the position I had the sense that any obstacles that came up could be overcome through either will or grace. Today I have given up my quest and must withdraw my acceptance of the internship.

When I applied for this post back in August I had no idea the difficulty in securing visas for family members. I thought that Europe would be fine with wife and child and we could just go about our business for a year in Florence and then come back home. They can come with me but they cannot stay. Three months on and then three months off.

For a short time I entertained the idea of going it alone, leaving wife and child for eleven months while planning short visits home for me and to Italy for G and babe. I imagined back to a time when an opportunity like this would be cause for the dropping of all responsibilities. I thought back to more care-free days when I could be ready for this trip within days. But I have changed and so too has my life situation. I could not imagine leaving at this crucial time when the family adds a member and moments return to immediacy.

My wife, darling that she is, allowed me to mull over the possibilities and did not try to sway me into making a quick decision. She knows of my fading regret of not going abroad during my undergraduate study.

So what is left? I have these words to thank you for the consideration. I hope that you find a new candidate who can make this commitment and find a way to work it all out.



**I know its kind of a bummer but I’m so lucky to have the life I lead now. When it comes down to it there really was no chance of me going unless the whole family could take part in the experience.


8 Responses to “Italy updated”

  1. Colton Says:

    I’m sure you’ve looking into the matter as much as possible, but…

    She may be familiar with situations such as yours, and perhaps can yield a loop-hole that would allow both wife and child to stay for a extended, if not the whole, period of time you are there. The three month cyclical schedule is rather impractical. It would seem discerning that provisions for this type of situation be made… Moving abroad for work/school is not an unusual occurrence.

    Best wishes in whatever the outcome may be.

    Happy holiday.

  2. Matthew Says:

    Thanks Colton–I have that same feeling that there must be some possibility of it all working out. The avenues I have used so far have not seemed promising but the coordinator in Italy may know something. I have not heard back from her yet. Thanks for the wishes, hope you enjoy the holiday season.

  3. Colton Says:

    On a side note, I have a question. Have you ever taken the (Marcel) Proust Questionnaire?

    …Make that two. Are you familiar with the band Iron & Wine?

  4. Matthew Says:

    No I’ve never taken the questionnaire. I doubt I would fair too well since Proust sits on my shelf unread. Have you a copy?

    Yes Iron and Wine, great band (Even if it is just the one guy)

  5. Oh Matthew, I’m so sorry that this has gone all pear-shaped, I recall how excited you were when you first posted about this. I do so hope that there is still some way of resolving the situation – I can’t believe that it is that impossible for your wife and baby to be able to join you full time – it just doesn’t make any kind of logical sense. I will keep fingers crossed for you that this dream will still come true.

    Wishing you and yours everything of the very best over the holidays.

  6. awareness Says:

    HI Matthew.

    I’m sorry the Florence experience isn’t going to pan out. I was wondering if you had heard………
    maybe not now………maybe a little while from now. you never know.

    Merry Christmas to you and your family.

  7. Matthew Says:

    I know Abs. Vanilla it certainly seems like it should work out. Mostly I’m going on the words of the International Dept. at FSU who make it sound very daunting to get G and little one along for the full time. Thanks for the holiday wishes–hope yours are great as well.

    Hello awareness…yes we shall just have to see what pans out. I’ve forgotten about Italy somewhat since we have the other big thing getting close. Baby!

    Happy holidays!

  8. Taffiny Says:

    Oh, this is rather disappointing, it sounded so exciting for the three of you to just take this great leap (across the pond) together.
    Have you asked Sognatrice? She knows a thing or two about how things work in Italy.
    Well I still hope it works out that you can (all) go, but either way, life holds wonderful things in store for you and your family. May your wife and little one have a smooth journey of bringing the little one out, and into your arms.

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