June 18, 2008

I’m holding my hugs for a second longer looking at bewildered eyes as the embrace loosens.  My smile comes quickly when approaching a stranger the beauty of changed expression alight on their face.  I scan for bright flowers while walking the neighborhood, look at that purple, orange or pink!  I’ve noticed that this thing called life is at once immense and at times intmate enough to feel the light breeze upon my eyelashes or hear the soft coo of a babe resting in arms.  Marvel.


You are what I am sensing within myself at this moment and I am that to you as we shadow dance in mirrored reflection.  I want to help and know that the only way is to be a better light by examining my own wiring.  My hurdles are intertwined with yours though our roles may play out differently.  We are both, together, moving towards understanding but these words I use are only pointers towards something I find difficult to describe.  Youmeness.  Yumminess.


Smoked in

June 14, 2008

Smoke from the North Carolina fires have ridden a northerly wind and socked in Virginia Beach and the surrounding areas with haze and bringing choked gasps.  I feel fairly tolerant of most airborn irritants but these acrid fumes penetrate all of my natural defenses.  So a warm, clear June day will need to be spent indoors until the wind changes direction.  Not a bad day to be confined to the library as a worker bee though it would be nicer if the HVAC system sucked less of the smoke into the building.


Photo catch-up

April 8, 2008

The little girl is growing up–twelve weeks on this Saturday–so I thought it might be fitting to share a couple of recent photos. I am constantly amazed and delighted by the gifts of fatherhood and this from someone who was not too sure if kids were ever going to be a part of the future. Even the night time wake-ups or extra messy diapers offer a certain brand of joy when I stay in the moment and know that in that instant I am just there to help out a little being getting used to the feel of a new world. The baby smiles and coos are just the cream on top of this joyous feast.

May I have your undivided attention.


Can you tell that I am smitten?


Still cold enough for the occasional hat.


Beauty! (But isn’t that what all fathers say?)


No more play, no more school

February 29, 2008

The dictum has finally been handed down and we have been told at work that no games can be played and no schoolwork can be done.  Which I must agree is right.  And frankly I’m relieved.  I’ve gotten caught up in playing Scrabble with friends via Facebook and commenting on discussion boards post in Blackboard.  See, when you work a public service desk at a library there is plenty of downtime.  On a slow evening you may help a handful of patrons in hours of desk-sitting.  After the side-projects are done and email is read it is just you and the internet.  What to do?

Mostly I just read.  And I used to write on this here blog until I got swept away in the game frenzy.  Fortunately the blog priviledges have not been taken away so perhaps, if I can find it in me, there will be more postings.  We shall see.

On the homefront me and the two G’s are all still adjusting to the new life.  I no longer remember the days of the uninterrupted sleep though that price is well worth the enjoyment of being a father.  I’m constantly amazed by the little being that miraculously has come to live with us!  I know about the science of birth but the utter mystery of creation leaves me dazzled.  Looking into those tiny eyes I fall into the stillness of the unknown.   And as a bonus my singing voice has returned to the delight of all:-0

I like the passion of my last post but I’m not sure if that is an altogether honest assessment of my situation.  It is a picture for that moment.  And this is a new moment and I have new feelings and thoughts regarding the life situation.  For one thing I have not completely gone the fear route and given up the dream.  The dream being to write as a way of life.  Realistically there are many ways to go about that and having another job does not mean that I am giving up the dream of writing.  More like I’m working so that I can support myself and sometimes I write because of this deep necessity to do so.

Where I get hung up is the quotes. “Quotes?”, you might ask.  Well it goes like this: I love to read and in the process of reading I’ve come across inspiring writers who invariably talk about their craft.  I’m mystified.  I take their words and try to translate them into my life.  And of course there is much lost in the translation:

1. These words may be inspiring but may look entirely different when the thing behind the inspiration manifests in your own life.

2. These words have more to do with the writer than the reader (not entirely sure about this one but I’m sticking with it for now)

3.Words although beautiful can be quite clunky: these symbols that point to something are quite difficult to grasp. 

So I read these wonderful sublime writers and I continue to read their loveliness and so on through the night until it is time to go to bed and I conveniently haven’t left enough time for my own writerly ruminations.  I’ve gotten way too used to being the intake valve instead of giving myself over to the creative outflow.  I can see that it requires a reorienting of the mind and in a sense this life. 

Perhaps that is why these words are here and this is a part of that shift in energy.